Monday, February 28, 2011

when piggies fly

This past weekend was the last of my leisurely days of winter...
yep you read that correctly. 

This year at our clinic we tried out cutting back from two doctor Saturdays to just one...
and I must say...
It was faaaabulous!

This meant that instead of working two out of three weekends we each only had to work one out of three...
I for one cannot wait until next winter!
(especially because this winter schedule means that the hubby and I actually get every third weekend...wait for it...
OFF TOGETHER!!!!   EEEEK!
I know...it sad to be so excited about this.

But anyway...
here was my last weekend:

We slept in...


And while he slept...


and while I started this...



this suddenly occurred...



the kid's timing is impeccable...


 After all of that excitement, we got cleaned up, dressed and headed to meet the daddy as he finished up his morning at the clinic.  From work, we headed to eat a healthy lunch of ...
buffalo wings and french fries!


Sunday, we went to church...
went out to eat with our Sunday school class...
went home to clean out the garage...
and got distracted when we found this...

Caleb came to watch...


He was impressed!


then the piggy bit the dust...while the doggies watched...


of course he was still very pleased to be out and about...


 even though the piggy was struggling...



we had fun while we should have been cleaning...



and even piggy made it unscathed...






This week began as usual with one exception...

the introduction of pears!

We were going to attempt green beans but I thought he would appreciate the sweet taste of pears...

I was mistaken.

 He was quite impressed with his toes however...

they are absolutely fascinating...I mean have you ever seen anything quite like these? 

 "You lookin' at me?"

Friday, February 25, 2011

caleb's three month photo shoot

Baby Caleb had his three month photo shoot a few weeks ago
<although he was actually 3 and 3/4 months old!>


mommy and me





future duck hunter



"mommy, no kissy!"




happy little fella
little froggy




hi there!



"hey mommy!"




"mommy!  I said NO kissy!!!"



little bear

"bye bye!"


Friday, February 18, 2011

on being a mother

Claude Monet, Woman with parasol, 1875

I am not a mushy person...all the lovey-dovey, touchy-feely stuff makes my palms a little sweaty and makes my neck itch.

Please not I did not say that I'm not an affectionate, sensitive and emotional person...I'm just not very comfortable talking about it...or here in the bloggy world, writing about my feelings in a beautiful, touching, descriptive way...

Some bloggers definitely are and I LOVE following along with them as they pour out their hearts...I'm just not capable of doing it...ok I'm not willing or comfortable doing it...
but I'm SO glad they do...I think we all need that in our lives.
These are some of my favorites to read...until they make me tear up...
vintch
A Holy Experience
A Life in Grace  
I could name soooo many others!

Now that I'm a mother...oh my gosh...inside I'm a sappy, mushy mess!
and I'm afraid that it's not just hormones...it's like, a new way of seeing the world...a new way of life.

I never understood how much my parents love me until my son was born.  I never knew I could love anything this much.  I can honestly feel the love I have for him.  I ache when he isn't near, my heart weeps when he cries and I can't breathe when he smiles at me.  He makes up for every negative thing that has ever happened in my life. 
Raphael, Small Cowper Madonna, 1505

I wish I could hug my mother's and father's necks and tell them how grateful I am for them every day for the rest of their lives for loving me like that for my entire life.

William Bougeureau, Mother and child, 1887
I definitely never understood parenthood like I do now...and I've only been a mother for a short time. 
Occasionally I come across different things that really knock me in the face with it...
...things that put into words what I'm just beginning to feel.

Gustav Klimt, Mother and Child  (from The Three Ages of Women), 1905


My momma sent me this email the other day about all the dedication and sacrafices that go into raising children...and how it is all soooo worth it.
Pablo Picasso,  Mother and child, 1921

While visiting the blog A Holy Experience the other day I came across this post that made me realize even more how difficult being a mother will be...not the diapers or crying or sleepless nights...
but the letting go of a child...
allowing him to be...without me.
the idea is terrifying and I ache just thinking about it...
so if you can relate to this...you MUST read this post...
because it helps me breathe, even if just for a little bit when I get so wound up with the anticipation of seeing my baby grow up into a boy and eventually a man...
who doesn't need his mommy anymore...
...at least not in the same ways he does now.
Caleb and I on October 10, 2010

Ok so that's it for my mushiness for like...at least the next three months...

fw: the invisible mother

As a note...I HATE forwarded emails...usually.
occasionally though, you get a good one...
this is one my momma sent me:

The Invisible Mother 
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the  way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and  ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on  the phone?' 
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or  sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner because no  one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am  only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this?  Can you open this?? 
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a  clock to ask,
'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What  number is the Disney Channel ?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30 ,  please.' 
Some days I'm a crystal ball: 'Where's my other sock? Where's my phone?  What's for dinner?' 
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the  eyes that studied history, music and literature--but now, they had  disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going,  she's going, she's gone! 
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a  friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and  she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting  there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was  hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty  pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and  said,
'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of  Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her  inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building  when no one sees.' 
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would  discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after  which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great  cathedrals--we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave  their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made  great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their  building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. 
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the  cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny  bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and
asked the man, 'Why are  you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be  covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied,  'Because God sees.' 
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was  almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see the  sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does." 
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake  you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small  for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but  you can't see right now what it will become. 
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As  one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see  finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The  writer of the book went so far as to say that no
cathedrals could ever  be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to  sacrifice to that degree. 
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend  he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving , "My Mom gets up at 4  in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a  turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That  would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to  come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend,  he'd say, "You're gonna love it there..." 
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're  doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will  marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been  added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers. 
The Will of God will never take you where the
Grace of God will not  protect you.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

my love/hate relationships: clothes

Isn't it interesting how there are some things in life that will ALWAYS be slaves to the irony of a love-hate relationship with you?

For me, it's clothes.

I mean you have to wear them...unless of course you are a nudist...
which I'm not...
and not just because of my thighs...the entire concept just doesn't seem prudent or sanitary.
I mean what do you do if you have to sit down...like, anywhere? 
...things that make you go ewww.

Anyway,
I hate clothes...not so much the wearing of them...
its more of the picking them out each morning, attempting to accessorize (haha yeah right), outgrowing them...
and the most dreaded of all...
shopping for them.


I HATE shopping for clothes, jewelry (unless of course it is REAL jewelery...like from Grogan's), purses...
I used to love shoes...but now not even shoes make me giddy...
no idea what to wear them with you see.

I am bringing this subject up because I am going to a real city with a real mall with real clothes this weekend!
Yay!...oh wait...I forgot...this means I have to try on clothes...and figure out how to organize them together on my body in an attractive way.
Shoot.
well at least I don't have to worry what I have already at home to wear them with...
...my current wardrobe consists of one pair of levi jeans (which do NOT look good on me and have somehow become too short since I had my baby), about 20 T-shirts, a few plain skinny tees which are consequently too skinny for me and one or two acceptable dresses (one really cute BCBG dress that is still a little too tight for church even WITH spanxx which makes me die inside a little)

I have permission to shop this weekend.
now not a full out shopping spree mind you
but I will hopefully be able to add a few nice pieces to my big girl wardrobe...big as in size, not age...well maybe age too   :(


So, I ask...
what are your favorite pieces?
what do you consider a wardrobe staple...the butter, milk and flour to your closet?
and finally, what item (or items) of clothing (shoes and accessories included here) could you not live without?


Thursday, February 10, 2011

a cow is a cow.



...or is it?
From the little bit of knowledge I've gathered over the years about cows, there is actually a lot more to know about them than "cow says moo"


Cows give us meat and milk and entertainment (think rodeo bulls)
and Elmers...
<sorry>



But seriously...there is a LOT that goes into cows and taking care of them.


For example...

Dairy cows are especially labor intensive
first, a dairy cow has to be bred and calve before she can fulfill thier life's purpose...
and if you think a beef cow eats a lot...
these ladies are eating machines...
seriously...there are entire computer programs dedicated to calculating the perfect, ideal, optimal milk producing rations for these girls!



Dairy farmers spend practically ALL of their time worrying about cow food and cow boobs.

Which reminds me...
...
...
...of myself.

You see, I decided long before I ever even became pregnant that come hell or high water I would be a mother who breast fed her babies.
And boy am I.
Seriously if I were a cow I'd be a Holstein...or maybe a Guernsey...no...a Jersey...yeah they're better suited for warm weather plus they produce more milk per pound of body weight than other breeds...so they say.


Here is a list of things a dairy cow & I have in common.

1)  A dairy cow drinks 20-50 gallons of water...almost a bathtub full each day...while I drink about 40 Nalgene bottles of water a day plus 1-2 mugs of coffee plus 1-2 glasses of milk.


2) A dairy cow eats an average of 20 pounds of feed and about 35 pounds of silage (kinda like hay) a day...thats a total of about 55 pounds of food...I think if you took me to a either a good Italian or sushi restaurant I could totally match that...

3)  An average amount of milk produced by a dairy cow is 6 gallons... you totally should have seen our freezer full of bags of frozen booby milk about two months ago- we were running out of space...and its a stand up deep freezer...

4)  The average dairy cow weighs 1400 pounds...I'm sorry to say I'm pretty close to that...(see #2 above)

5)  The most commonly used appliance for a dairy cow is this:

The most commonly used appliance for me is this:
6)  I kinda know how she feels...uncomfortable.


7)  The cow's gestation period is 9 months...ie thats how long baby calf and baby Caleb cook before birth.
...cute lil babies!
aw...

how...

sweet!

yep!

"ewww..."

"pwease no more mommy & daddy!"

"hey!  I can do it aw by mysewf!"

so sleepy

So as I'll just say that this nursing thing is incredibly rewarding 
although I'll also admit it is somewhat awkward...
and well...wierd for me at times...

like when I call my husband Tuesday morning after two stressful, worrysome week of poor milk production...
...and two weeks of taking fenugreek to stimulate my milk
<which come to find out also stimulates sweat glands...faaabulous....>
and force-chugging as many fluids as humanly possible...and many many bathroom breaks
<which is not good when you are on a 10-12 hour roadtrip with MY hubby>
...called him to tell him "They're baaack!"
Honestly I've never been so excited to use the word engorged...
...because that is not a pleasant word.  
It's one of those words that make you say...eeeew.
But I said it with glee as I told my dear hubby that baby boy would not have to be put on formula after all!  
YaY!

In closing...
some cute pictures...

of a cow- dog...
not the herding kind of cow dog
of cow cupcakes...
from thecupcakeblog
       ...because who doesn't love cupcakes?