Doc says: " "Fix" your dogs and cats!"

Normal Rockwell

There are three very important...the most important...topics I discuss with clients concerning caring for their dogs and cats.
1) spaying and neutering or as we like to say down here in these parts "get 'em fixed"
2) vaccinations
3) heartworm preventative
and oh yeah:
4) listen to the doctor instead of GoogleUniversity.com

so we'll say FOUR most very important topics.

There appear to be a few common <and some uncommon> misconceptions about spaying and neutering cats and dogs.

First, we'll address terminology.

When you spay a dog or cat you remove some of her reproductive organs, her ovaries and uterus, thus preventing her ability to ovulate and become pregnant.
...you cannot spay a boy dog.  or cat.
When you castrate* a dog or cat you remove two of his reproductive organs, the testicles, thus preventing his ability to impregnate his girlfriend.

...you cannot castrate* a girl dog or cat.

<I previously said "neuter" instead of "castrate" but the Hubbs (Dr. #1- he thinks anyway!) suggested (strongly) that I correct this...apparantly SOME people consider spaying a female to be neutering... but I will tell you, that is not how I, myself, roll>

Second,
when you prevent pregnancy you prevent unwanted/ homeless puppies and kittens...
you also prevent potential problems for momma dog or cat such as
dystocia- which is the inability for her to successfully give birth to her babies which will lead to one of three things: surgery, euthanasia, or a long, painful death of the momma.
With all of these death of the puppies/kittens is either possible or guaranteed.

but wait!  there's more!
spaying a female prevents much more than pregnancy.
It prevents pyometra- infection in the uterus which will be fatal unless treated with...you guessed it...surgery.
it can prevent malignant mammary tumors...aka bad breast cancer
it will prevent cancer and other disorders of the ovaries and uterus.

sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me





Third,
when you get rid of a dogs testicles you prevent not only your dumb neighbor dog from getting pregnant and creating more dumb neighbor dogs (or worse...cats)...
but you can also prevent your dog from displaying those oh so annoying and dreaded MALE behaviors...
like...peeing on things...

peeing on your car tires
roaming the hood for bitches (totally used in the definition for female dogs way-hehe)
peeing on your newly planted begonias
roaming the hood and fighting other boy dogs who are also out looking for love in all the wrong places
peeing on your rosemary plant that you would have liked to use for cooking dinner

the tendency to be more likely to growl, snap and be a total jerk

also, peeing on your suitcase which is in the driveway <yes that so happened to me> and having to stop at every tree, shrub, tall patch of grass and even fire ant hill to sniff for ten minutes only to leave about 3 drops of pee at each stop

there are soooo many other things that can be peed on...


ps...this all applies to unwanted behaviors in male cats also:

Fourth,
With cats we also worry about FIV...HIV in cats basically...
having his or her naughty parts in full working order drastically increases a cats chances of getting it...and eventually dying from it. 

not happy times
Plus, if you spay your cat, she won't sit outside and meow all night long to the boys...so she can make six more of these:

who will in turn make 36 more...then 216 more...then...oh ok too much math...

Those are pretty much the most common discussions about spaying and neutering.



Here are some other <sometimes amusing> discussions:

-No, your cat is not in pain or dying...she is rolling around and hollering all weird because she is in heat...and horny...but yes I agree it is a little weird.

-Yes, your very very small Pomeranian "Sissy" can most definitely get pregnant by your Labrador "Champ"...no matter how well endowed he may be, love will find a way.

-Yes, your very very small and vertically challenged daschund "Shorty" can most certainly impregnate your bull mastiff "Lucy"...don't ask me how this happens because I have no idea but these guys are determined and I'm pretty sure it would be hilarious and go viral on You Tube

-No, it will not make him/her fat...but the cheeseburger you feed him/her will definitely pack on the pounds

-No, it will not make him/her lazy...but sitting at home eating cheeseburgers will.

-No, I am not concerned about it inhibiting the growth of her long bones (?)  after all, we are not going to the WNBA, correct?

ah...a day in the life!

eaves dropping at work

One day a conversation was overheard between our receptionist and a client after a visit concerning her dog's tendency to "scoot" or drag his bottom along the carpet, grass etc in an attempt usually to relieve discomfort from full anal glands.  The client wanted an estimate for removing the anal glands...to the receptionist's answer the client replied, "Three hundred and sixty dollars?!!?   Lord, for that she can just scoot her ass right on down the road for all I care!"



ah!  Thanks anonymous client for the comic relief!

Moonlighting

I'm tired.  I even slept when I got home.  I'm still sleepy and frazzled.  I have proof.
First, it was noon and I'm making a breakfast shake...at noon.

Second, I got my lids mixed up.

it doesn't quite fit.

Why?...
Last night I took a gig moonlighting at the ER hospital in town...

and no he wasn't there...you know who I'm talking about...

george

"I'd be a lot cooler if he was"...

slight adaptation of a quote from this movie...plus he coulda been there too.  that would have been fine.

Nope, it was at our new local veterinary ER hospital...a few of us local vets are filling in until the full-time veterinarian begins...

hubby filled in Monday night, the other associate at our regular veterinary clinic filled in Tuesday night and I took last night.
Now this isn't a tough gig...for the average man (or woman), assuming you are in fact a veterinarian of course.
However, I'll admit I'm not average.
I'm not being conceited here...
I have a phobia of emergencies...something I vaguely remember from my time in veterinary school.  I
I had apparently forgotten this, probably because even though I went to a wonderful veterinary college where we were well trained to be able to "hit the ground running" when our graduation caps and gowns were stripped from us and we were cast out into the cold hard world after approximate 20 years of schooling (counting kindergarten), there is just no way to practice being the only doctor in the house when the "really scary s**t" comes in.
Plus, I'm unfortunately not a glass half empty or half full type of person
but I'm more of a "oh my!  what if somebody with mono drank half of the milk and left their germs on it, or what if somebody slipped a roofie in that glass, what if the milk is not pasteurized and has Listeriosis????- there are so many reasons I should be afraid to drink it-
but if I don't drink it and put it safely in the dishwasher what if I knock it to the ground and it shatters into 5-million pieces and then I step on it and it slices a major artery (in my foot?) and I bleed to death?" type of person.
Really this is how I think...my cortisol levels are thorough the roof.

Now the past two nights it had been dead.  Ok poor choice of wording there. But there had been few calls and no admitted patients which I'll admit is not good for the bottom line which is not good for the hope of a life without having to be on call for my clinic.
However out of selfishness I was hoping for nothing serious to walk through the door.
Ok I was praying. I was praying hard.


So last night I found myself wrapped up in a blanket in the big kooshy red recliner in the back of the hospital reviewing the highlights of one of the emergency veterinary medicine books-just in case- asking myself..."what the heck Jennifer?"
I could feel the sweat on my palms...I can feel it now just thinking about it.
My head began pounding, my gut had a sharp pain and I was pretty sure a good case of stress colitis was brewing in there.
Plus, I missed my baby.

3 3/4 month pictures!

But while I was praying, a common saying popped into my head "If He brings you to it, He'll bring you through it"
Apparently God took my plea for a slow night to heart and decided, "I need to teach this lady a lesson about fear."

So then it happened...it began.
First was a kitten with respiratory distress...but luckily she was fine...upper respiratory tract infection...no biggie.  The worst part about this was just getting everything into the computer system which was acting up.
Then they came pouring in...well three anyway but that seems like a lot when you are in the middle of it!
There was a geriatric pekingese who was in a dog fight and had a broken jaw, a daschund who had been sick since the weekend (3-4 days...HUGE pet peeve of mine) who had very vague signs and no permission to do bloodwork or radiographs, and finally a very sweet, very large stature man in worn blue jeans and a flannel shirt and salt and pepper hair in a ponytail with a very sweet, very puffy faced chihuahua also with salt and pepper hair who was having a mild vaccine reaction.

Now looking back this is not such a big deal...add in working in an unfamiliar building, unfamiliar drug closet, unfamiliar computer/record system, quite a bit of paperwork and two new techs who did great (!) but were also a little unfamiliar with all of the above....and you have a slightly stressful, slightly time consuming situation on your hands.

Finally, around 11 everybody was taken care of and sent home and I again cuddled into my designated recliner, ER book safely stowed away...far away from me.  I call my husband to tell him goodnight and tell him what went down.  He tells me "well it sounds like everything went well, you were busy but if you have to have four emergencies all at once those are the four to have...at least it wasn't a bloat or a dystocia"
my good sweet hubby!
Relieved, I drift off to sleep when...
the phone rings...

Unless you are ever on call, you probably don't know the feeling of dread that rushes through you when you hear that horrid sound ...""bbbbrrrriiinnnnng,  bbbbbbrrrrriiiiinnnnnngggg"

A dystocia is on the way.
Really?
A you frigging kidding me?

I make sure I know where all the drugs I may possibly need are...
and I go sit back in my recliner...
The next thing I know Jane is waking me up because it's almost 7 am.
What? Where?  When?
The dystocia had her puppies on the way in!

So I think my prayers worked!

And look at who my hubby brought me on the way to work!

Check ya later!

Gossip girl must wait.

All I want to do is sit by the fire and watch Gossip Girl with a very large glass of pinot grigio.  Is that really so much to ask?  But no.  I am on call tonight which means that my husband AND I are on call.  Yep,  he had plans to go to a friend's tonight but with my being on call with nobody else to watch the baby he is on call for my on call.

The plan was for him to meet Caleb & I at the clinic IF I got called in.  Problem is that of course I get a call about five minutes after getting home right after Caleb begins nursing.  He answers for me and it turns out that this woman's chihuahua got jumped by a bunch of big dogs and has to be seen ASAP.  He decides to go in and take the call for me then go to his buddy's.  Of course...owner has no money and dog needs McDreamy & McSteamy his wounds are so bad- unfortunately the extensive McDr route is very expensive.  So now hubby's evening is not the relaxing and fun evening he was hoping for plus there is a critical patient to check on every few hours throughout the night.  As for me?  Phone has been ringing off the hook with calls (most of which are not actually emergencies) and now a second true emergency.  I have to call the husband because I have the baby, although I feel really bad about it-I am after all the one on call tonight.  I mean REALLY?  Come on.

I know I am a doctor.  I know that doctors have to take call sometimes but frankly there are times that doctors just want to be able to leave work at the door.  Sorry can't.  We know that this is part of it all but really if you knew what it was like you would hesitate before calling your doctor or veterinarian or even your plumber after hours unless it was 100% matter of life or death.  Seriously you would!  Plus you would probably not let your beloved little pet who is the size of a chipmunk run around where something  200 times his size could snatch him up and attempt to rip him to pieces.  Especially not after regular business hours.

Just sayin.


XOXO -Gossip Girl

I'll think about that tomorrow.

I spent quite a while yesterday and the day before trying to figure out how to make my blog cute.  As you can see, no luck.  Aapparently when in comes to being technically-savvy, I a quite unfit for the blogging world.  Perhaps that comes from having a father whose idea of fixing the VCR was always 'Turn it off then back on.  If that doesn't work after repeating four to fourteen times knock the fire out of the blasted thing!' (This is a loose and censored interpretation of his repair methods)  Oh well.  Finally I decided that I'll just have to figure this out another day- I have lives to save! 
Ok well as far as yesterday went that may be a bit of an overstatement since it was after all a cherished "Off of work day"...Hooray!!!  The day before yesterday, however, I did help save a little bitty chihuahua life along with my dear sweet bulldog mix Kane.  Kane chose to forego his breakfast and day lounging on his recliner to become a blood donor!  Perhaps he thought he'd receive a steak afterward to increase his iron intake?  The chihuahua is doing much better and Kane is super proud of himself- he is even contemplating getting a superdog cape for any days in the future that he gets to be a hero.  Maybe it can be his Christmas present. 

Kane the Superdog!